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Articles on Widow Recovery |
content by Linda Foldvik
published: August 9, 2010
July 28 marks the third anniversary of my husband’s death. I cried as I
listened to one of our favorite songs.
Overall, I feel truly at peace today. I know that every day is a new day,
fraught with good and bad. Especially regarding my emotional ups and downs.
That is the way it is for us widows. Acceptance of that reality, I believe, is
more than half the battle.
It is so very important to take care of one’s self, and to give yourself
permission to have a bad day. Give yourself permission to cry and feel like
crap when you need to. As time goes on, you know that those moments/days are
fleeting.
It is also very important to not let anyone tell you how you should (or should
not) feel. There is no timeline to your grief and the business of getting on
with your life. The trick is to give yourself permission to find your balance
of happiness and sadness. Know that this ‘balance’ will constantly
change. This is very normal. And know that there are certain days and times of
the year that will always be difficult: your wedding anniversary; birthdays
(yours and his); Christmas; Valentine’s Day; the anniversary of his death;
etc…
For me, the 3 days before this third anniversary of my husband’s death
were harder than the day itself. I knew that would be the case and planned for
it. I made sure to have the right mix of busy ness and my needed alone
time.
You need to find your right mix, probably through trial and error. Just
remember to give yourself permission to do what you need to do to get through
the bad days and make the good days memorable.
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